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Why did grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?
Because she wanted to rock and roll!
Jessica, age 11, Ireland
What happens when a seagull goes to the bay?
It turns into a bagull!
Guido
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy!
Rachel, age 10, USA
Shannon, age 8, North America
Heard about the peanut walking down the street?
It was a salted (assaulted).
Deniesha, age 16, USA
Allison, age 10, USA
Why couldn't the boy go to the pirate movie?
It was rated R.
Brenda, age 11, USA
Kachasity, age 12, USA
Kayla, age 13, Canada
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Courtney, age 9, Australia
Brennon, age 11, Australia
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because 7 8 9.
Trevon, age 13, USA
Ashley, age 12, USA
Soulja, age 12, USA
Priyal, age 9
Natasha, age
10, USA
Ashley, age 11, USA
Nicole, age 12, Canada
Zachary, age 8, USA
You're stuck in a truck and all you have is a hammer and two nails. What do you do?
Unlock the
door and get out.
Davonte, age 13, USA
Meghan, age 9, USA
A plane crashes. Where do you bury the survivors?
Survivors aren't buried, they're still alive.
Davonte, age 13, USA
Krista, age 12, America
Elizabeth, age 9, USA
Savanna, age 10, America
Poppy,
age 12, Australia
What happens when you cross the Abominable Snowman and Dracula?
You get frostbite.
Joshua, age 14, Australia
Rebecca, age 11, USA
Floyd, age 11, USA
If you're stuck in a house with no windows or doors and all you have is a lamp, a sore and a table,
how will you get out?
You turn on the lamp so you can see, and you get the sore and sore (saw) the table in half. Two halves
make a (w)hole. Crawl through the hole.
Jane, age 13, England
Keelin, age 10, USA
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
Emma, age 6, Ireland
Why did the hen cross the road?
To get to the farm.
Stephen, age 5, Ireland
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper!
Mallory, age 17, USA
Anusha, age 17, India
Joseph, age 13, USA
Jimmy, age 8, USA
How do you drown a dummy?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Mallory, age 17, USA
When the hairy beast kidnapped the chickens what was his excuse to his parents?
They were bocking
him!
Brittany, age 12, USA
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Destini, age 14, USA
Tim, age 17, Australia
Why does my flute have holes in it?
It's an opened holed flute.
Taylor, age 12, USA
Why did the coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Chase, age 10, America
Mattie, age 8, USA
Katie, age 12, USA
Greg, age 25, New Zealand
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Because he suddenly ran out of juice!
Bushra, age 12, United Kingdom
What did the traffic light say to the cars?
"Don't look at me. I'm changing!"
Motasim, age 13, UK
Hannah, age 11, Scotland
Tanya, age 8, Ireland
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts!
Shaelyn, age 12, USA
Victoria, age 10, USA
Elise, age 7, USA
Shannon, age 8, North America
April,
age 12, USA
Why couldn't the bicycle stand upright?
Because it was two-tyred.
Aslyn, age 10, Australia
What did the lettuce say to the fridge?
Lettuce out of here!
Jesse and Jordan, age 10, USA
Why did the man throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
Anonymous
There were 12 pigs in a pigsty. One pig died. How many were left and why?
None because they went
to the funeral.
Joyce, age 13, Australia
Why did ET have big eyes?
Because he saw his phone bill.
Kristy, age 11, Australia
Why did the skeleton go to the meat shop?
To get some spare ribs.
Nick, age 9
Shannon, age 10, England
Laura, age 9, Australia
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor!
Jonathan, age 15, England
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see his flatmate!
Daisy, age 8, England
Shinny, age 11, UK
An electric train is going north. Which way is the steam blowing?
It doesn't blow steam!
Joel, age 8, Ireland
What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the evening and three at night?
A person.
Leslie, age 12, USA
What colour is an echo?
YEEELLLLLL-OOOOOHHHHH!
Mia, age 16, USA
Why did the gnome laugh when he ran in the field?
Because the grass tickled his under arms.
M, age 14, USA
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebra's fighting over
a pickle.
Taniya, Georgia
Tyler, age 10, USA
The beautiful green house is on the right. The cozy red house is on the left. Where is the white house?
In
Washington DC!
Tommy, age 11, USA
Joni, age 11, New Zealand
What is greater than God, worse than the devil, the poor have it, the rich don't need it and if you
eat it you will die?
Nothing!
Tommy, age 11, USA
What did the triangle say to the circle?
"Your life seems so pointless!"
Michael, age 10, Canada
What do you call Tinkerbell when she forgets to take her bath?
Stinkerbell!
Ty, age 9, Japan
What's a banana's favourite TV game show?
Peel or No Peel!
Ty, age 9, Japan
Why did the man throw butter out of a window?
He wanted to see a butterfly.
Becky, age 16, Thailand
Katie, age 9
What do you get when you cross a grandmother with an octopus ?
I don't know, but it sure can play
Bingo.
Damon, age 8, America
What fish comes out at night?
The starfish.
Mehe, age 3, Canada
What was Tigger doing in the toilet?
Looking for Pooh!
Cameron, age 9, North America
There was a girl standing in a telephone box. Before she went in, she'd tied her pet tiger, lion and
elephant up outside. Who was the girl calling?
The circus!
Danielle, age 11, England
Where is a cow's favourite place to go?
To the MOOvies.
Brandi, age 4, USA
Why did the elephant cross the the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Heidi, age 8, USA
What do you call a lion at the North Pole?
Lost!
Heidi, age 8, USA
Why couldn't Cinderella play football?
Her coach was a pumpkin and she kept running away from the
ball.
Olivia, age 9, Australia
Shannon, age 8, North America
Samantha, age 8, USA
Ava, age 9, Ireland
What do you say when you say Goodbye to a monster?
Anything if you are you a fast runner!
Olivia, age 9, Australia
Where do chickens like to go on holiday?
Turkey.
Sam, age 15, Australia
Why were the dogs so close to the fire?
Because they wanted to be hot dogs.
Tyler, age 10, USA
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Inatius, age 17, USA
Mark, age 18, USA
What do you call a cat with no nose?
A meow.
Jerod, age 9, USA
Why did the guy stare at the box of orange juice?
It said concentrate!
Megan, age 12, USA
Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept.
Blake, age 9, USA
What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
An elephant's shadow!
Leighton, age 11, USA
What did one cow say to the other?
"MOOve."
Kara, age 9, USA
What stays in a corner but goes around the world?
A stamp.
Angel, age 11, USA
Kelsey, age 12, USA
What room do skeletons like least?
The Living Room.
Kaenon, age 11, USA
What did the ocean say to the river?
Nothing it just waved.
Julia, age 9, USA
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-Chop.
Roni, age 10, USA
Shannon, age 8, North America
What is a bird's favourite store?
Bird Bath and Beyond .
Roni, age 10, USA
A person is reading a book but there's not a crack of light. How is she reading it?
She's reading
brail.
Auna, age 8, USA
There is a rhino running at you at 70 miles per hour. What do you do?
Run 80 miles per hour.
Cole, age 11, USA
How do you make a kleenex dance?
You put a little boogy in it!
Kindle, age 8, Canada
What do you call a guy in the pool with no arms or legs?
Bob.
Tommy, age 10, USA
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it didn't feel like it.
Luke, age 10, Australia
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
Pok-em-on.
Luke, age 10, Australia
What's grey, big and red all over?
An embarrassed elephant.
Luke, age 10, Australia
What did the ear say to the other ear?
"Between you and me we have brains"
Luke, age 10, Australia
Why did the man put rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance it looked like hair(s)!
Layla, age 11, Australia
What do you get when you cross an insect with a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
Carolyn, age 50, USA
What goes up and down but doesn't move?
Stairs.
Victoria, age 12, USA
Why don't they put elevators in video game stores?
Because it would make it too easy to get to
the next level.
Bianca, age 10, USA
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to go with.
Taz, age 12, Australia
What kind of meat tells lies?
Bologna.
Elisa, age 11, USA
What did the stove say to the boiling water?
"You're hot."
Bhargavi, age 11, India
Imagine you are in sinking row boat surrounded by sharks. How will you survive?
Stop imagining!
Kathleen, age 12, Philippines
What can you throw but not catch?
A party!
Cohal, age 11, Ireland
What do you get when you cross a fly and a fish?
A flying fish.
Jesse, age 12, USA
What falls, but doesn't break and what breaks, but doesn't fall
Night and day.
Cheyenne, age 12, USA
Why did the jellybean want to go to school?
Because he wanted to be a smartie.
Brooke, age 10, England
Why do firemen wear suspenders?
To keep their pants up!
IRock, age 10
If there are 10 copy cats and 1 jumps away, how many copy cats will be left?
None because they
are copy cats.
Tala, age 8, USA
What did the fish say when he hit a wall?
Dam.
Jen and Brianne, age 14, Canada
Why shouldn't you do math in the jungle?
Because if you add 4 and 4 you get ate.
Jen and Brianne, age 14, Canada
What goes 99 clunk, 99 clunk?
A centipede with a wooden leg.
Jen and Brianne, age 14, Canada
What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
"You're too young to smoke."
Shannon, age 12, Australia
Why did the man throw the clock to the machine?
Because he wanted to see a time machine.
David, age 10, Australia
Why do spiders spin webs to catch flies?
Because they don't know how to knit!
Leah, age 8, USA
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